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to the pleroma (text)

[ it’s not an intentional attempt at anonymity. dextera just has no experience with this kind of broad communication, and to him, there’s little point in introducing himself anyway. those who have met him may be able to recognize the emotional “signature” attached to the words newly displayed in their minds, and may be able even to attach the soft sound of his breath or the perpetually-uncertain expression he wears to the message he knows is about to be contentious.

but, it’s been bothering him since the events in venera. perhaps the seed was planted even before that, from his very first experience with the kenoma and having the pleroma overtake it to save him in the end. ]

Are we wrong?

[ it’s… actually not what he wanted to open with, but the panic of broadcasting a message so publicly has him blurting things out even through what should be the most temperate of mediums. ]

The Regent said it was the Pleroma that caused the disease in Venera. That force wanted us to live forever in delusion. I don’t want to destroy the world. I don’t want to make a new one either. I was happy there. I would have been happy there.

The distilled Kenoma tried to manipulate our thoughts. Didn’t you all feel that power when we escaped? The Hope that allowed us to fight? Are we still being manipulated?

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[ Dextera is in luck, because Ernesto have never been the grudge holding sort. Ernesto is also in luck, because this particular line of questioning doesn't cause Ernesto any undue stress; there has been almost no points in Ernesto's adult life that he wasn't unsure about his own actions. Maybe that's a weird benefit to being constantly plagued by uncertainty? You find a paradoxical ease with it that others might not. ]

Ha... I've lived my whole life not having much say in getting involved with things way over my head. What's one more? Besides, I don't really like the idea of letting a single person restart all of existence to suit their ideals.

At least not someone who is proving themselves to be this ruthless and unyielding. Kind of makes you worry about what their envisioned existence would really look like, doesn't it?

It's not actually as simple as I'm making it out to be either, and it's not like I don't also have my doubts. I'm not faulting anyone here for whatever choice they make either. There's probably no real right answer in all of this, even if there might be some decidedly wrong ones.

[Considering this is all public, and Ryunosuke can feel some of that anger and bitterness, it's not long before he tries to reach out in private about it. Just to make certain he's alright.]

[ Damn, that was Dokja not too long ago. Just a fucking depressed mess. He's okay now! Back to his usual not-as-outwardly-showing depressed self.

And look, he may be completely blind to most things, but even he can recognize a cry for help. ]

That's a relief. [ How bad can it be if there's no corner involved? ] Hey, while you're busy getting blasted with replies, you want something to eat?

Would you take a walk with me? Meet me somewhere...?

[ he doesn't know Dextera's holed himself up, but... perhaps a little fresh air will do him good, regardless. some time to clear his head away from wherever he's been - has he been alone...? ]

[Ooh. Yuya opts to respond with voice, because maybe a gentle tone will help soothe his worries. At least to not spiral into a panic.]

I don't think protecting the universe that exists is wrong. No matter what, I don't think we're wrong for that.

That being... it's gone for now. I felt it, when I... when I got infected. It wasn't the same as in the cave. And I don't think it was acting on any will but it's own.

[ There's some initial hesitance in his response — long, drawn out thoughtfulness as he considers the weight; It's not something he hasn't thought about. He'd been told about, but at first registered it in meaning of the Aions themselves and yet: ]

Honestly, we've only been here a couple of months and from the moment we got here were told to choose one or the other. I think it'd be more crazy not to question these kinds of things; We're expected to fight someone else's war with only the information we're given.

[ Which isn't a lot. And frankly, while he can't agree with destroying the universe — can't believe Berk and everyone on it is gone — he also can't find himself disagreeing the cycle of life needs to continue. ]

I think... Rather you're manipulated or not will be dependent on how you choose to live here? If you choose to fight or choose to live.

But I get it, this isn't the world I want to live in or with the people I'd like — No matter if they're great people. I was happy in my own home.

[ Well, maybe there's some flittering there. Happy isn't the best word for when he came from, but he'd never think of abandoning Berk, Toothless, Astrid, or any of the others. ]

Does it matter if we might be right or wrong?

[He hadn't communion with the other last time and had spoken outwardly.]

Right or wrong. I don't think it can be applied to something like this. In someone's story, someone is always going to be a hero and someone else will be a villain. In that sense, the villain is always wrong to make the hero be in the right. It's subjective.

[One could hear the click of his tongue.]

We don't know how true the Regent's claims and to act as though it is solely our fault is farfetched at best. [Why would it just be because of the Pleroma? What makes the Kenoma be free of fault?] In the end, why are we to be treated as the cause when we were brought here against our own will? What will you do if we are being manipulated?

No, we're not wrong. The Regent is blaming the Pleroma for propaganda purposes, to justify their own ends.

I felt the same surge of hope, and I refuse to accept that what we were accepted to was done by the 'correct' force here on this world. That ritual was vile, and the treatment we were subjected to was nothing short of evil. It may be a simplistic worldview, but the Regent's forces showed themselves to be agents of evil from the start.

If we are being manipulated, we're being manipulated in a way that places us in opposition to evil.

Edited 2022-06-07 01:52 (UTC)

I don't think promoting life is necessarily wrong. In the same way that I don't think that having something that resembles hope is wrong.

However, promoting life to the point of taking away agency is wrong. I certainly didn't get fed the distilled...kenoma, did you say? And below help me, I tried to talk to the Kenoma, before I came here. I don't know how I could have been manipulated to choose this side.

[ A pause, thoughtful. ]

It isn't as if the other option is less wrong -- the destruction of anything and everything is far worse in my opinion -- although you're welcome to disagree, if you're questioning how right we are in action.

[ there is something compelling about hearing someone be honest and straightforward even in their disagreement. rather than feeding into dextera’s panic, answers like these have helped—he just needed to talk to someone. ]

Belief doesn’t make you right.

[ it isn’t ‘said’ unkindly; he’s more resigned than anything. ]

I don’t know what to think.

[ it’s news to dextera that the new arrivals weren’t fed the same sludge that the original batch of aions were, and it goes some way in assuaging his worries—but not enough, considering they’re still dealing with what seem to be cosmic forces. ]

I don’t think destruction is right either. It’s just hard. I was burdened with a decision like this where I came from. People aren’t mean to choose.

Is that possible? To be manipulated by good?

[ this answer is a bit more insistent than other, more moderate reactions dextera has received, but in a way that was the point of this message. not consciously, as he had expressed it all in a panic, but he just needed to know what other people were feeling.

this is helpful. ]

[ it takes dextera a little longer to respond to joonghyuk than to others, if only because the question posed is such a difficult one. he wants to answer it, but he truly doesn’t know. he’s never been able to fight back, even with the knowledge that he’s being manipulated.

he actually does find it within him to respond with his ‘voice’ this time, even if it’s only an echo of the way he speaks to himself in his mind. ]

I don’t know… I don’t know. Is it possible to purge this power now that it’s inside of us?

I wasn’t happy at home. But I never wanted it to be destroyed.

[ he gets that out of the way first, an emotional and instinctive reaction before he answers the rest of those gently-phrased thoughts. ]

How can we possibly learn anything here? It’s all controlled by the Regent. Everything is under their will.

[ yuya!

there’s a little flutter of relief to hear yuya’s voice, as he had seen the message of yuya’s fate. although he hadn’t been able to grapple with it at the time, he’d taken note of it, and he’s truly glad to hear that the boy seems unharmed.

as if in apology for their last ‘conversation,’ where dextera had been unable to speak, he offers his own voice in kind. it’s small and thin, filtered through his mind rather than his own throat, but it’s a voice. ]

…it wasn’t? It didn’t feel aligned with the Pleroma?

[ the only reason dextera doesn’t turn to his voice now is because it would be immediate, obvious evidence that he’s going through it. ]

Yes. Please.

[ there is truly a cacophony of answers in his mind, which is something he expected, but he wasn’t truly prepared for. everyone has their opinion and plenty of emotions attached to it, and dextera has made himself a target for all the thoughts that have been brewing over the past few months.

dokja’s concern as a person, rather than as a fellow member of those aligned with the pleroma, is incredibly welcome. ]

I want something green.

[ the answer takes a long time to come, but he’s honest. he’d like to eat a leaf or something. ]

[ He can't even imagine the weight of all these communions bearing down on Dextera. It's a method of communication that Dokja dislikes, the leak of emotions on either side too bothersome to deal with. Coupled with the fact that he has a general aversion to drawing attention to himself, this broadcast to the entirety of the Pleroma seems like a nightmare to have to deal with.

So, yeah. He'll partake on a different level, and Dextera is someone that Dokja has had to grudgingly admit he cares about. ]

Something green. Got it.

[ It's an odd request but he's long since learned the other man is an odd person, so he doesn't hesitate with his reply. ]

Let me know where you are and I'll be there with your greens.

[ He can feel the pause there, as if she hadn't expected that answer. ]

As was I. If people aren't meant to choose between one or the other, then who shall? The gods? Why wouldn't it be those of us who live in the...mud, as it were, to choose?

[ Text? They can do that? Mentally, the difference is almost imperceptible, but he can understand the words without seeing or hearing them regardless. He doesn't recognize them as coming from the guy he met in the bar back when he first got here, for better or for worse. ]

I think we're all here because we were happy on our old worlds. Or "could have been happy."

[ he's also in that category. ]

You're on this side 'cause you need to go back, right? It's not about being right or wrong. It's about getting where you need to go.

[ Hiccup can't help but note that Dextera changed what he said — that he wasn't happy anymore. ]

Maybe it is, but it's for us to discover and decide for ourselves the truth. If we know most of it will be false, then maybe it means the opposite is true.

If we challenge the truth, we can find out the real truth. That's something I have to believe in.

[ one of the benefits of communion, despite these troubles, is that dextera can easily impress his location through the shard without having to give particular details or a description on how to get here. it’s a little inn and tavern in one of the seedier parts of godsblood, but dextera is a welcome tenant for his silence and tendency to stay out of trouble. as such, no one bothers him.

he tucks his shard back into its place, for the moment “turning off” all the people assailing him with their thoughts, and he waits for dokja to arrive like a dog waiting for its master. ]

[It resonates a little with him. To be given powers he didn't want. To be manipulated and used. It isn't so unlike his situation at home with his Sponsor. To not be able to escape death because he'll regress...]

Life will always be unfair in many situations. [He knows this all too well.] Just because we might be manipulated doesn't mean you can't make use of what you're given. You can carve your own path that you see as fit.

[Dextera can probably feel it. That determination. A feeling of understanding that resonates with those words.] We're still ourselves and we can still make our own choices.

[ he knows what fear can do. how it can manifest, how it can affect. it's why he doesn't feel offended or hurt by dextera's words. toge's not being questioned. ]

I agree, but it also doesn't make you wrong. I think people live and die sometimes never figuring out which is which.

[ he sits there for a second, lets his thoughts go for a moment, then collects himself. ]

I haven't been here for long but I know I want my friends to be safe. I'll find a way to save them if they aren't. It doesn't matter where they are. Do you think that's worth it?

[Oh! A voice! He actually didn't expect that. He never asked the details about Dextera's condition, whether it was from birth or something that developed.]

Well--not any more than we are, I mean. It was a really big presence, but what it offered me was... peace. Like safety and happiness. It wasn't like that power that helped us run, it was just resting.

I don't think we can say it was acting for the Pleroma or anything. Because that's not really living, what it wanted.

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to the pleroma (text)

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