[ it's been quite a long time since someone reached out to him for comfort in this particular way. there is some sort of irony in that, Abel thinks - especially for the way it elicits a very specific sort of tug in his chest, the kind reserved for those the priest has known far longer than he's known Dextera. but he feels it all the same... is it because of what happened in Venera? for what he knows the two of them to share?
he has never met anyone who might understand the keen loss of one's other half, especially growing up as it seems Dextera has. he hadn't had a normal childhood; it had been something sterile, something secluded, bereft of the comforts of a 'normal' family - and perhaps that had deepened the connection to the person this young man had quite literally been bonded to. they were all one another had, far as Abel could see.
...and whatever circumstances had parted them-- if it truly had been at Dextera's hand, then... that is simply yet another layer connecting them, and one so few others are poised to grasp.
the almost needy insistence behind the request for understanding is immediately answered without hesitation. Abel squeezes those fingers back - and tightly, the incessant gnaw of Dextera's loss and his mixed feelings for the Pleroma, for the Innocence, comprehended in full. ]
What it gave us was a gift.
[ he knows this would be a contentious point if voiced aloud to anyone else. but this is why he's speaking his thoughts to Dextera - someone uniquely positioned to understand what he feels, just as Abel can provide the same in reverse. ]
It came from a good place. I truly believe that it did... all of it, even if it was too much. To want to take away someone's suffering - everyone's suffering... to let them have a pleasant dream of the people they love... [ people they may never see again, otherwise, ] To bring them back to their happiest, most peaceful moments-- it's a pure, wonderful thing.
[ but... as there is always a but, isn't there-- ]
...But we cannot live in daydreams. You and I both know that, right?
[ the happiness there was hollow, fleeting, artificial. part of them would have always known deep in their souls that much was true - because half of their souls had been gone for a long, long time. ]
So, now that we're awake again... we have to take the bittersweet reminder of that dream with us, alright? Keep it close. [ another little squeeze of his hand in Dextera's. ] We can use it to remind ourselves who we are, who we used to be.
One day... we might see the people who met us in dreams, Dextera. I want both of us to take a path from here that will see us deserving of them when we do.
no subject
he has never met anyone who might understand the keen loss of one's other half, especially growing up as it seems Dextera has. he hadn't had a normal childhood; it had been something sterile, something secluded, bereft of the comforts of a 'normal' family - and perhaps that had deepened the connection to the person this young man had quite literally been bonded to. they were all one another had, far as Abel could see.
...and whatever circumstances had parted them-- if it truly had been at Dextera's hand, then... that is simply yet another layer connecting them, and one so few others are poised to grasp.
the almost needy insistence behind the request for understanding is immediately answered without hesitation. Abel squeezes those fingers back - and tightly, the incessant gnaw of Dextera's loss and his mixed feelings for the Pleroma, for the Innocence, comprehended in full. ]
What it gave us was a gift.
[ he knows this would be a contentious point if voiced aloud to anyone else. but this is why he's speaking his thoughts to Dextera - someone uniquely positioned to understand what he feels, just as Abel can provide the same in reverse. ]
It came from a good place. I truly believe that it did... all of it, even if it was too much. To want to take away someone's suffering - everyone's suffering... to let them have a pleasant dream of the people they love... [ people they may never see again, otherwise, ] To bring them back to their happiest, most peaceful moments-- it's a pure, wonderful thing.
[ but... as there is always a but, isn't there-- ]
...But we cannot live in daydreams. You and I both know that, right?
[ the happiness there was hollow, fleeting, artificial. part of them would have always known deep in their souls that much was true - because half of their souls had been gone for a long, long time. ]
So, now that we're awake again... we have to take the bittersweet reminder of that dream with us, alright? Keep it close. [ another little squeeze of his hand in Dextera's. ] We can use it to remind ourselves who we are, who we used to be.
One day... we might see the people who met us in dreams, Dextera. I want both of us to take a path from here that will see us deserving of them when we do.