[ As soon as Amos comes into view, Matt's simmering anxiety spikes. When he calls out, Matt nearly flinches, the bottom dropping out from his stomach.
He's been avoiding people since he gave up his hand, obviously. There's been a lot of adjusting to do. Adjusting to pain, adjusting to the difficulty of doing basic tasks, adjusting to things as stupid as like, the fact that he has to reach across his body for communion now, right hand seatbelting for the crystal on the left side of his neck. Adding other Kenoma into this humiliating equation was a total nonstarter. He barely wants to look at himself right now, he's been in no hurry to watch other people's faces as they realize what's changed.
Now he sees everything he was afraid of in Amos. It feels weirdly like having the hand cut off again, only this time, the severing is taking place purely through the lens of Amos' perception. Matt can feel himself morphing in front of him, his silhouette wobbling for the worse. ]
I'm fine, [ he protests, which is all he can think to say despite how objectively untrue it is. ] I mean, it was--consensual. I wanted to do it.
no subject
He's been avoiding people since he gave up his hand, obviously. There's been a lot of adjusting to do. Adjusting to pain, adjusting to the difficulty of doing basic tasks, adjusting to things as stupid as like, the fact that he has to reach across his body for communion now, right hand seatbelting for the crystal on the left side of his neck. Adding other Kenoma into this humiliating equation was a total nonstarter. He barely wants to look at himself right now, he's been in no hurry to watch other people's faces as they realize what's changed.
Now he sees everything he was afraid of in Amos. It feels weirdly like having the hand cut off again, only this time, the severing is taking place purely through the lens of Amos' perception. Matt can feel himself morphing in front of him, his silhouette wobbling for the worse. ]
I'm fine, [ he protests, which is all he can think to say despite how objectively untrue it is. ] I mean, it was--consensual. I wanted to do it.