audio / Soviseri 29 / all Kenoma

[galdorleod]

[ Howl's psychic voice is familiar in the way it sounds, but not in the way it feels. There is no mirth, no haughty playfulness, no usual thread of flippancy to his words. He is exhausted, on edge, and anxious, and it leaks into his message. Although "leaks" is not even the right word — he is making no real attempt at hiding his misery right now. ]

Aions have arrived in this world twice so far. The second batch appeared in the Shrines about three months after the first.

Tomorrow... marks another three months.

[ it's much too early to say there is any kind of pattern to it all, but... ]

Those of you whole enough to travel to the Shrines and check for new Aions must do so. We cannot afford to let the Pleroma strengthen their numbers.

[ And for now, he leaves it at that. No indication of what he is planning to do with his weekend, and definitely, conspicuously no mention of the mission failures, the traitors, or the prisoners. ]

Comments

[expiera]

That's the heart of it, isn't it? As easy as it was for you to act, you still feel like something isn't quite right, you're also aware enough of that oddity to talk about it. [Is it clearer, if she puts it that way?] It's not the same as riding a bike or swimming, practicing muscle memory innate and natural to you.

[She finally takes her eyes off him, and takes another sip of her own cup. Putting it back down after a short pause, she gives a quiet exhale before continuing.]

That's logical, too. Hurting others is not [should not be] comparable. For those who don't take enjoyment in others' suffering, doing work that enables it boils down to a matter of necessity.

[...]

Did you thought of that, that what you were doing is necessary?

[Did he think at all?]

[galdorleod]

[ Did he...? Did he think it was necessary? It was, wasn't it? It's what the Regent demanded they do. Yes, isn't that what made it necessary?

But Howl is quiet, and this time the silence lasts much longer. Avoiding eye contact with Ciel, he tears bites from the sandwich with his long black nails, almost like a child playing with his food. It isn't until he's on the final piece that he speaks again. ]

...There was a war going on in my world before I came here. Our king, the one I'd sworn allegiance to when I graduated from the Sorcerer's Academy, was waging an assault on a neighboring country... The justification was transparently flimsy. I'd long ago refused to be a member of his military, which made me both a pariah and an outlaw, but... I didn't care. My freedom is what mattered most to me, including my freedom to refuse the crown's call to war.

And my freedom to be with Calcifer. [ his.. friend, who he's told Ciel about before, albeit in coded language.

He sets the final square of sandwich back on his plate and glances cautiously at Ciel. ]

I was an active participant in the war, before everything was lost, but it was as more of a... saboteur. I remember feeling that my involvement, in that sense, was necessary. To interfere and obstruct their war mages and airships...

[ His willingness back then to throw himself entirely at stopping their bombs, even at the cost to himself, has clear parallels to the conflict here in Horos. So why does it not feel the same? ]