As shameful as she’d found it, then… when she had been in that village in the mountains, watching jinba who grew up free share affections just as freely by consequence, an easy pat of hand on a shoulder, a bump of withers, laying flank to flank to sleep… Hayame had wondered what it might feel like. She’d almost let herself want for it, someone warm and heavy who would be by her side and remind her that she was not alone. But that had been a weakness then, and it is…
Maybe it is a weakness now, too, but. She is so… she is so tired. She is so empty when she isn’t burnt out with anger, with the fate of her world unknown. She is so burdened, failure after failure heavier than any companion could be. So perhaps… it is understandable that she be weak enough to take comfort from the weight of Estinien’s body leaning against her flank, his lesser weight moving just slightly in a gentle rock of her larger pair of lungs’ inhale and exhale.]
I will be here.
[She gives her word. When he opens his eyes, whether it be because Naruhodo and the birdling have come to join them or because he has simply had his fill, she will be there yet awake and vigilant.]
… Rest well, Estinien.
[Once he has closed them, once she hears his breathing even out, feels his heart slow between the beats of her own, she risks looking back down her body to where they meet.
… He looks tired, too. His pale hair is in disarray.
She does not let her gaze linger overly long. Instead, she turns her head back to regard the quiet wood at the border of the Valley of the Innocent, refocusing her attention on the temporary role of protector. But as she waits, silent and still, aching for a closeness she’s never allowed herself to want and only ruined when she had the chance… her thumb runs gently along the curve of her bow.]
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As shameful as she’d found it, then… when she had been in that village in the mountains, watching jinba who grew up free share affections just as freely by consequence, an easy pat of hand on a shoulder, a bump of withers, laying flank to flank to sleep… Hayame had wondered what it might feel like. She’d almost let herself want for it, someone warm and heavy who would be by her side and remind her that she was not alone. But that had been a weakness then, and it is…
Maybe it is a weakness now, too, but. She is so… she is so tired. She is so empty when she isn’t burnt out with anger, with the fate of her world unknown. She is so burdened, failure after failure heavier than any companion could be. So perhaps… it is understandable that she be weak enough to take comfort from the weight of Estinien’s body leaning against her flank, his lesser weight moving just slightly in a gentle rock of her larger pair of lungs’ inhale and exhale.]
I will be here.
[She gives her word. When he opens his eyes, whether it be because Naruhodo and the birdling have come to join them or because he has simply had his fill, she will be there yet awake and vigilant.]
… Rest well, Estinien.
[Once he has closed them, once she hears his breathing even out, feels his heart slow between the beats of her own, she risks looking back down her body to where they meet.
… He looks tired, too. His pale hair is in disarray.
She does not let her gaze linger overly long. Instead, she turns her head back to regard the quiet wood at the border of the Valley of the Innocent, refocusing her attention on the temporary role of protector. But as she waits, silent and still, aching for a closeness she’s never allowed herself to want and only ruined when she had the chance… her thumb runs gently along the curve of her bow.]