[ dextera wishes abel had ended before that but. he wishes, but like everything else he’s ever hoped for, manifesting it is impossible. it’s dangerous. if dextera could hear it justified from someone else, that he’s allowed to stay deep in that daydream and never come out, then he would. he would gladly throw himself into the depths.
but abel understands. he understands both the call and the reason it must be refused. ]
…
[ it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, in the way a parent gently correcting their child with nothing but love can still sting. he knows that he can’t have his brother back the way the sickness offered it to him. those years are long past, even if his brother had been able to live to adulthood. that’s painful when that was the happiest he’s ever been, and certain it’s the happiest he ever will be.
abel tries to offer hope, nonetheless. in dreams. dextera has seen the ghost of his brother with nothing but malice for him, and he wonders if he could take a more upright path…
perhaps… ]
…ngh.
[ he’s gotten through in one way or another; dextera abruptly decides he can’t handle much more.
even though he’s a grown man, the topic feels like it’s reducing him to someone much smaller. he’s already holding abel’s hand, but like a stray animal that’s found some safety for the first time, he pushes himself against abel’s body—his shoulder to abel’s chest, seeking solace. ]
no subject
but abel understands. he understands both the call and the reason it must be refused. ]
…
[ it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, in the way a parent gently correcting their child with nothing but love can still sting. he knows that he can’t have his brother back the way the sickness offered it to him. those years are long past, even if his brother had been able to live to adulthood. that’s painful when that was the happiest he’s ever been, and certain it’s the happiest he ever will be.
abel tries to offer hope, nonetheless. in dreams. dextera has seen the ghost of his brother with nothing but malice for him, and he wonders if he could take a more upright path…
perhaps… ]
…ngh.
[ he’s gotten through in one way or another; dextera abruptly decides he can’t handle much more.
even though he’s a grown man, the topic feels like it’s reducing him to someone much smaller. he’s already holding abel’s hand, but like a stray animal that’s found some safety for the first time, he pushes himself against abel’s body—his shoulder to abel’s chest, seeking solace. ]