to the pleroma (text)

[passio]

[ it’s not an intentional attempt at anonymity. dextera just has no experience with this kind of broad communication, and to him, there’s little point in introducing himself anyway. those who have met him may be able to recognize the emotional “signature” attached to the words newly displayed in their minds, and may be able even to attach the soft sound of his breath or the perpetually-uncertain expression he wears to the message he knows is about to be contentious.

but, it’s been bothering him since the events in venera. perhaps the seed was planted even before that, from his very first experience with the kenoma and having the pleroma overtake it to save him in the end. ]

Are we wrong?

[ it’s… actually not what he wanted to open with, but the panic of broadcasting a message so publicly has him blurting things out even through what should be the most temperate of mediums. ]

The Regent said it was the Pleroma that caused the disease in Venera. That force wanted us to live forever in delusion. I don’t want to destroy the world. I don’t want to make a new one either. I was happy there. I would have been happy there.

The distilled Kenoma tried to manipulate our thoughts. Didn’t you all feel that power when we escaped? The Hope that allowed us to fight? Are we still being manipulated?

Comments

[locumstudentesquire]

Um... Sorry to ask this so pointedly, but. Are you alright?

[passio]

[ does it sound like he’s all right ]

No. I’m frightened.

[dragonmount]

[ he's also a little off-balance, these days, about what he thinks of the kenoma. a little seed of doubt, if one he'd never admit to having. there are a lot of things he could say to this, but he chooses the point that feels the most practical. ]

We weren't all there when the Regent's forces had you. Some of us came later, willingly. Would you call that manipulation?

[ it'd be nice to say that he 'said' that calmly. but the communion means that the faint undercurrent of his anger is a palpable thing, even if it isn't actually directed at dextera. ]

[passio]

[ dextera is the sort of person to assume it’s all directed his way nonetheless, but a small mercy is that his present mindset allows him to take it all as it comes. ]

Haven’t you ever done something you only thought was your own choice?

[aquaveiled]

You think that we're still under the control of the Kenoma?

[ Being tempered by a more powerful being? More likely than you'd think. ]

[passio]

No. I think we’re tools of the Pleroma.

[ his first pass at that answer is forceful, in the way that some people are prone to violence when afraid, but he calms himself down and tries again. ]

These powers are unnatural. These bodies aren’t ours. Either way, we’re…

[coerthantorment]

[In some ways, a message like this may have been primed to enrage Estinien, as strained as he already is. Yet, as he reads it, his own lived experience tells him that it's not actually bad to question these kinds of elemental forces and what they represent. At least as it's phrased here, Dextera's worries don't seem unreasonable.]

Any elemental force brought about in excess is harmful.

[He's facing the consequences of that right now, after all. Whatever that Innocence creature was, it was too much, and the balance of his aether has been thrown off in a way he still isn't sure is recoverable.]

Yet, I feel we arrived at our conclusions despite manipulation rather than because of it. The Regent did their best to force our decisions, to enslave us to their side, and yet we overcame. I care not for the Pleroma as more than a means to the end... and my end is unchanging. I would not see my home sacrificed for someone else's ambition.

[passio]

[ dextera can’t quite explain what it is about estinien’s manner, but something in the way he conducts himself makes him instantly want to bow his head and apologize for one thing or another. at least at the moment, he’s too occupied by his very real feelings of panic and guilt to succumb to ones with no purpose.

and, in fact, estinien’s response is collected enough that dextera answers well to his tone. ]

Can we really choose a side without losing ourselves to it?

[ he asks the question only because he more or less agrees with everything else estinien has said; the emotion behind the text suggests anxious curiosity, not debate. ]

[goldendeceiver]

I'm not sure it's a great idea to trust any words that came from the Regent personally. The disease was hitting hardest in a city none of us had ever been to, so it doesn't make much sense to heap the responsibility onto us.

As for if we're still being manipulated or not...

[ This one takes a bit of an uncomfortable ponder to mull over. ]

There's probably no way to say for sure we aren't, but if nothing else this one doesn't come with the messy strings of a dictator attached to it. Not that it makes the idea of potentially being manipulated any better. Haha.

Honestly, I don't really want to be part of any of this either. There are more capable people from my world that should have ended up in my shoes instead, but none of us got much say in the matter. I don't think anyone from this side will fault you too much if you decide you're done with it and refuse to fight, but you might still have to do some running to avoid the Kenoma.

[passio]

[ the answer here is relaxed and friendly, and dextera promptly feels a little sorry that he believes his one and only interaction with ernesto has been him promptly shutting off communication between them. he’s had a few opportunities to make amends and never has, but it doesn’t look like any grudge is being held.

all is well, and there’s even a lack of judgment for the content of his message in the first place. ]

Why are you fighting if you don’t want to be a part of it?

[salvageable]

[ Ah, Dokja recognizes who it is that's sent this communion, and he's left a bit unbalanced by the weight of such a message. He's no stranger to being manipulated, so while he can relate in some ways...

The right words, comforting words, have always failed him and so he knows they'll fail him again here. ]

What's up with such a gloomy message? You're not holed up in a corner somewhere, are you?

[passio]

[ that is exactly what he’s doing. the curtains in his little room in godsblood are drawn, and so even if there is light outside, he can’t see it. he’s merely holding his shard and imagining all the worst scenarios that could come to pass, far from a comfortable situation for anyone to be in.

there’s a long pause, and then: ]

I’m not in a corner.

[inutilis]

...Dextera?

[ Abel's voice carries the probing, prickling sensation of a worry behind it, the niggle of concern underlaid by a quieter uneasiness. his friend's distress is clear as day to see, but beyond that - there is validity in doubting and fearing such things Abel would feel wrong to outright refute.

one thing at a time, he supposes. ]

Where are you, right now?

[passio]

[ the concern from a familiar voice causes an immediate sting behind his eyes and his breath to run rough in his throat. abel speaks with a voice, and while dextera would normally return the favor, he can’t really muster that effort now. he answers in the same text he’s been using, but even the lines seem a little shakier than before. ]

In Godsblood.

[ the short answer doesn’t really give any indication of how long he’s just been sitting in his room driving himself insane. ]

[snakeandfangs]

I don't know if we're not wrong, but I know that I'm not wrong.

[ whether dextera's lack of confidence is bolstering toge's... ]

It's easy to cast blame on someone else when you don't have all the information. I can't say I know everything myself, but delusion is a harsh word.

What it wanted... I think was the only thing it believed was right.

[passio]

[ there is something compelling about hearing someone be honest and straightforward even in their disagreement. rather than feeding into dextera’s panic, answers like these have helped—he just needed to talk to someone. ]

Belief doesn’t make you right.

[ it isn’t ‘said’ unkindly; he’s more resigned than anything. ]

I don’t know what to think.

[hippocarnival]

[Ooh. Yuya opts to respond with voice, because maybe a gentle tone will help soothe his worries. At least to not spiral into a panic.]

I don't think protecting the universe that exists is wrong. No matter what, I don't think we're wrong for that.

That being... it's gone for now. I felt it, when I... when I got infected. It wasn't the same as in the cave. And I don't think it was acting on any will but it's own.

[passio]

[ yuya!

there’s a little flutter of relief to hear yuya’s voice, as he had seen the message of yuya’s fate. although he hadn’t been able to grapple with it at the time, he’d taken note of it, and he’s truly glad to hear that the boy seems unharmed.

as if in apology for their last ‘conversation,’ where dextera had been unable to speak, he offers his own voice in kind. it’s small and thin, filtered through his mind rather than his own throat, but it’s a voice. ]

…it wasn’t? It didn’t feel aligned with the Pleroma?

[dragon_rider]

[ There's some initial hesitance in his response — long, drawn out thoughtfulness as he considers the weight; It's not something he hasn't thought about. He'd been told about, but at first registered it in meaning of the Aions themselves and yet: ]

Honestly, we've only been here a couple of months and from the moment we got here were told to choose one or the other. I think it'd be more crazy not to question these kinds of things; We're expected to fight someone else's war with only the information we're given.

[ Which isn't a lot. And frankly, while he can't agree with destroying the universe — can't believe Berk and everyone on it is gone — he also can't find himself disagreeing the cycle of life needs to continue. ]

I think... Rather you're manipulated or not will be dependent on how you choose to live here? If you choose to fight or choose to live.

But I get it, this isn't the world I want to live in or with the people I'd like — No matter if they're great people. I was happy in my own home.

[ Well, maybe there's some flittering there. Happy isn't the best word for when he came from, but he'd never think of abandoning Berk, Toothless, Astrid, or any of the others. ]

[passio]

I wasn’t happy at home. But I never wanted it to be destroyed.

[ he gets that out of the way first, an emotional and instinctive reaction before he answers the rest of those gently-phrased thoughts. ]

How can we possibly learn anything here? It’s all controlled by the Regent. Everything is under their will.

[regretsor]

Does it matter if we might be right or wrong?

[He hadn't communion with the other last time and had spoken outwardly.]

Right or wrong. I don't think it can be applied to something like this. In someone's story, someone is always going to be a hero and someone else will be a villain. In that sense, the villain is always wrong to make the hero be in the right. It's subjective.

[One could hear the click of his tongue.]

We don't know how true the Regent's claims and to act as though it is solely our fault is farfetched at best. [Why would it just be because of the Pleroma? What makes the Kenoma be free of fault?] In the end, why are we to be treated as the cause when we were brought here against our own will? What will you do if we are being manipulated?

[passio]

[ it takes dextera a little longer to respond to joonghyuk than to others, if only because the question posed is such a difficult one. he wants to answer it, but he truly doesn’t know. he’s never been able to fight back, even with the knowledge that he’s being manipulated.

he actually does find it within him to respond with his ‘voice’ this time, even if it’s only an echo of the way he speaks to himself in his mind. ]

I don’t know… I don’t know. Is it possible to purge this power now that it’s inside of us?

[superbshot]

No, we're not wrong. The Regent is blaming the Pleroma for propaganda purposes, to justify their own ends.

I felt the same surge of hope, and I refuse to accept that what we were accepted to was done by the 'correct' force here on this world. That ritual was vile, and the treatment we were subjected to was nothing short of evil. It may be a simplistic worldview, but the Regent's forces showed themselves to be agents of evil from the start.

If we are being manipulated, we're being manipulated in a way that places us in opposition to evil.

[passio]

Is that possible? To be manipulated by good?

[ this answer is a bit more insistent than other, more moderate reactions dextera has received, but in a way that was the point of this message. not consciously, as he had expressed it all in a panic, but he just needed to know what other people were feeling.

this is helpful. ]

[wolof]

I don't think promoting life is necessarily wrong. In the same way that I don't think that having something that resembles hope is wrong.

However, promoting life to the point of taking away agency is wrong. I certainly didn't get fed the distilled...kenoma, did you say? And below help me, I tried to talk to the Kenoma, before I came here. I don't know how I could have been manipulated to choose this side.

[ A pause, thoughtful. ]

It isn't as if the other option is less wrong -- the destruction of anything and everything is far worse in my opinion -- although you're welcome to disagree, if you're questioning how right we are in action.

[passio]

[ it’s news to dextera that the new arrivals weren’t fed the same sludge that the original batch of aions were, and it goes some way in assuaging his worries—but not enough, considering they’re still dealing with what seem to be cosmic forces. ]

I don’t think destruction is right either. It’s just hard. I was burdened with a decision like this where I came from. People aren’t mean to choose.

[comelately]

[ Text? They can do that? Mentally, the difference is almost imperceptible, but he can understand the words without seeing or hearing them regardless. He doesn't recognize them as coming from the guy he met in the bar back when he first got here, for better or for worse. ]

I think we're all here because we were happy on our old worlds. Or "could have been happy."

[ he's also in that category. ]

You're on this side 'cause you need to go back, right? It's not about being right or wrong. It's about getting where you need to go.

[passio]

[ dextera does need to go back, but he doesn’t want to. he doesn’t think he does, at least, which is why his answer keeps changing as to whether or not he really wants to save the world he left. ]

Is it OK? To feel that way?

[youngprodigy]

Maybe we're being manipulated, maybe not.

But I know one thing: there's someone I want to get back to, and if the Regent gets their way, I'll never see him again.

[Dextra will be able to feel how ambivalent Cid is about everything. Their worlds could very well already be gone.]

I know little about tempering save for the fact that those that become tempered are slavishly devoted to whatever does the tempering. It has to do with the body becoming out of balance; aether of too much of one element can have catastrophic results. They'll end up doing things they'd never do in their right minds.

[Though he doesn't elaborate, the sharp sadness that comes from him makes it very obvious he's talking from personal experience.]

Those of us who are Pleroma... well, we're naught but people who refused the Kenoma's desire to see everything ended. The fact that we can even have this conversation means I don't think we're being manipulated.

[passio]

[ many people have suggested the same, and with each one, the sentiment more properly sinks in. dextera is able to ask these questions at all, and even if they cause him pain to consider, it’s a pain of conflict with his own ideology and morals—it’s not the pleroma, as far as he can tell, dissuading him from wondering.

it takes him some time, but soon: ]

Maybe as long as we have a goal, that’s enough. It’s an end. It’s a reason to stay ourselves.

[traversal]

No, I don't think we were wrong.

If anything, it's most likely the other way around.

[ there's a very long pause as she tries to choose her words carefully based on the things she's read back in venera. she wants to be logical about this, at least, if only because emotions will not bring anything to the table. ]

There had been a string of incidents in the past, similar curses or afflictions, in the wake of challenges against the Regent and the empire. While there were no decrees announcing these actions, isn't it strange how it almost always seemed to have happened after there had been resistance against that ... being?

I wouldn't be surprised if this was a tactic employed by them to question our own beliefs.

[passio]

What?

[ this is the first dextera is hearing of it, and it’s of great interest to him. it’s worry, more than curiosity, but his logical mind is eager for new information even in the midst of a panic attack. ]

Can you tell me more?

[deushexmachina]

Undoubtedly, you'll receive more optimistic appraisals. And maybe there's merit to that, but I think it's good to question like you're doing.

Are we still being manipulated? I think by the nature of being here, yes.

[passio]

But there’s no way to escape it, in that case.

[ even if they run away, can they really leave it all behind? ]

[coupris]

[The waves of distress are palpable through the Communion, so Kim can only hope his evenness carries over it.]

No side is going to have absolute good or absolute evil. Everyone has their own reasons for choosing a side.

However, I think it's safe to say that we can't trust anything the Regent tells us.

[passio]

What reason does the Regent have to lie? They already control everything. Those people are already on their side.

[ it’s a sincere question, but there’s something more to it that even dextera can’t quite explain. as if he’s trying to understand something beyond the regent… there’s a yearning. ]