to the pleroma (text)

[passio]

[ it’s not an intentional attempt at anonymity. dextera just has no experience with this kind of broad communication, and to him, there’s little point in introducing himself anyway. those who have met him may be able to recognize the emotional “signature” attached to the words newly displayed in their minds, and may be able even to attach the soft sound of his breath or the perpetually-uncertain expression he wears to the message he knows is about to be contentious.

but, it’s been bothering him since the events in venera. perhaps the seed was planted even before that, from his very first experience with the kenoma and having the pleroma overtake it to save him in the end. ]

Are we wrong?

[ it’s… actually not what he wanted to open with, but the panic of broadcasting a message so publicly has him blurting things out even through what should be the most temperate of mediums. ]

The Regent said it was the Pleroma that caused the disease in Venera. That force wanted us to live forever in delusion. I don’t want to destroy the world. I don’t want to make a new one either. I was happy there. I would have been happy there.

The distilled Kenoma tried to manipulate our thoughts. Didn’t you all feel that power when we escaped? The Hope that allowed us to fight? Are we still being manipulated?

Comments

[passio]

[ dextera can’t quite explain what it is about estinien’s manner, but something in the way he conducts himself makes him instantly want to bow his head and apologize for one thing or another. at least at the moment, he’s too occupied by his very real feelings of panic and guilt to succumb to ones with no purpose.

and, in fact, estinien’s response is collected enough that dextera answers well to his tone. ]

Can we really choose a side without losing ourselves to it?

[ he asks the question only because he more or less agrees with everything else estinien has said; the emotion behind the text suggests anxious curiosity, not debate. ]

[coerthantorment]

I don't know.

[The response comes at a delay, Estinien clearly giving it some thought beforehand. He's not ashamed to say it, really - it would be arrogant to claim he knows one way or the other. Despite any similarities to the elements of his world, this is a different land.]

I only know... that if the Pleroma lies in opposition to the Regent's goals, if seeking refuge in it could save my people... I must try.

[And how familiar it sounds, as he says it. After all, it was the same logic he took when subjecting himself to Nidhogg's influence. If it was a power that could save Ishgard, he was willing to risk losing himself to it.]

As it stands, the Kenoma seems to be the force being unnaturally encouraged. The Regent all but rules this land, and the power it contains.

[passio]

[ dextera does respect that, even if he thinks it’s ill-advised. it’s a separate concern from his worry for estinien as a man in the middle of this war—he’s worried for estinien as a soul, should he choose to fully indulge in a power none of them understand. ]

We need to learn more about it.

[ dextera hesitates, as if aware this is probably ill-advised and exactly the thing he’s afraid is being done to him, but he decides to offer it. ]

If the Regent can control the Kenoma, it might be possible to do the same. We just won’t hurt anyone with it. We won’t force it.

[coerthantorment]

[It's a compelling hope, and Estinien would like to do just that. He's not sure how, or if it's truly possible, but he agrees with Dextera - it would be the safest thing for them all.]

Aye... and if the Pleroma and Kenoma are augh like the elements of my homeland, they are but tools to be manipulated. 'Tis the wielder that truly matters, in the end.

I think we would gain little from forcing those of the Kenoma that truly believe in the Regent's ways. I only believe that they need to be given the chance to make the decision, their minds unhindered.

[passio]

Yes.

[ dextera pauses. there’s something he feels he should say, and he’s not sure how estinien will take it, but it’s a display of goodwill toward his comrades in the pleroma that he openly admits to it at all. ]

I’ve been speaking with some of them. I think many of them do want to see the world destroyed. But I think more just don’t know any other way. I would have gone with them, if things had been a little different.

[coerthantorment]

...

[It's certainly putting Estinien in a difficult situation with regards to this conversation. It's not all that shocking - after all, he knows that many of the Pleroma have been chummy with the Kenoma despite everything. On some level, he understands why that is. On another, it still frustrates him. After all, there's nothing special about them.]

I've seen a great many men and women rise and fall with their cruel ambitions, simply because it seemed the only way to them. All men ultimately feel that their choices are what's right, 'else they would not have come to them. Yet, this does not exempt them from the consequences of their actions.

If they truly believe there is no hope in this realm besides its utter obliteration, they have my pity. Yet, I've seen many like them perish... just as certain, just as conflicted, just as human. If this is what they would stand for, 'tis also what they will fall for. If they can be stopped by other means, made to see a different path, 'twould be a thing to be celebrated.

But I can see no reason that those who have arrived at the Regent's side of their own volition should be spared at the expense of the innocent.

[passio]

[ dextera will not argue with estinien on that point. he sees and understands—and yes, objectively, he agrees. but it’s easy for him to bow his head and say estinien is right when he hasn’t yet been actively tested. he’s been able to gently deny questions for information and he’s put himself up to the task of trying to sway the kenoma he’s befriended, but if a day comes again where they’re expected to fight, he’s not sure he’ll be any help.

it takes him a moment, with all this in mind, to find something that won’t turn out to be a lie once he’s inevitably pushed to his limits. ]

Do we really do anything of our own volition?

[ it’s not actually a question; although he doesn’t say it with his voice, it’s delivered more like a sigh of resignation before his true answer. ]

When the time comes, I hope I can follow that conviction. If people are going to be hurt no matter what, it shouldn’t be those who’ve chosen life. I know that.