to the pleroma (text)

[passio]

[ it’s not an intentional attempt at anonymity. dextera just has no experience with this kind of broad communication, and to him, there’s little point in introducing himself anyway. those who have met him may be able to recognize the emotional “signature” attached to the words newly displayed in their minds, and may be able even to attach the soft sound of his breath or the perpetually-uncertain expression he wears to the message he knows is about to be contentious.

but, it’s been bothering him since the events in venera. perhaps the seed was planted even before that, from his very first experience with the kenoma and having the pleroma overtake it to save him in the end. ]

Are we wrong?

[ it’s… actually not what he wanted to open with, but the panic of broadcasting a message so publicly has him blurting things out even through what should be the most temperate of mediums. ]

The Regent said it was the Pleroma that caused the disease in Venera. That force wanted us to live forever in delusion. I don’t want to destroy the world. I don’t want to make a new one either. I was happy there. I would have been happy there.

The distilled Kenoma tried to manipulate our thoughts. Didn’t you all feel that power when we escaped? The Hope that allowed us to fight? Are we still being manipulated?

Comments

[passio]

[ dextera wishes abel had ended before that but. he wishes, but like everything else he’s ever hoped for, manifesting it is impossible. it’s dangerous. if dextera could hear it justified from someone else, that he’s allowed to stay deep in that daydream and never come out, then he would. he would gladly throw himself into the depths.

but abel understands. he understands both the call and the reason it must be refused. ]

…

[ it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, in the way a parent gently correcting their child with nothing but love can still sting. he knows that he can’t have his brother back the way the sickness offered it to him. those years are long past, even if his brother had been able to live to adulthood. that’s painful when that was the happiest he’s ever been, and certain it’s the happiest he ever will be.

abel tries to offer hope, nonetheless. in dreams. dextera has seen the ghost of his brother with nothing but malice for him, and he wonders if he could take a more upright path…

perhaps… ]

…ngh.

[ he’s gotten through in one way or another; dextera abruptly decides he can’t handle much more.

even though he’s a grown man, the topic feels like it’s reducing him to someone much smaller. he’s already holding abel’s hand, but like a stray animal that’s found some safety for the first time, he pushes himself against abel’s body—his shoulder to abel’s chest, seeking solace. ]

[inutilis]

[ Abel cannot offer Dextera the comfort he's searching for. he cannot be the actual person that Dextera wishes were truly able to hold him here beneath the sunlight. but hopefully, even if it's just for a little while--

this might be enough.

the priest only takes a small beat - just enough time to get over his initial surprise - before he winds his arms around his friend in reciprocation of the gesture; it... definitely hurts in a bittersweet way. he knows Dextera aches from a hollow, empty place inside himself that cannot be filled by others. there is only one soul capable of truly easing that pain. ]

...it's okay.

[ to hurt. to mourn, to grieve, to long for things they might not have - and truthfully, may not deserve. Abel does not presume to know Dextera as well as he wishes he might - even if he believes this boy to be too kind-hearted to have taken his sibling's life in cold blood. he also knows that it isn't always an act of hatred that brings one to take a life.

whatever it is that had driven the brothers apart, Abel cannot bring them back together - but he can be a shoulder to lean on in his twin's absence. not a replacement, but... a stand-in, even if just for a while.

...just-- for a little while. ]