kenoma | the yassification begins, voice

[oomfies]

[ Hello everybody, are you ready for the wildest thing to hit your brain this afternoon? It's Lottie! This time not giving in and resorting to text, and post giving herself the pep talk of her life to introduce this idea to all her fellow baddies™ (literally). ]

Hii! Hope I'm not interrupting anything by posting this since I know we're all busy adjusting. I'm Lottie Person, and I was thinking over some things about the war and all that stuff..

We really need to start working on our image. If we want to make sure people don't leave and join the other side, or think we're bad people, we have to rebrand. Thankfully, I'm pretty experienced in PR [ she isn't ] so I'm putting this thing together for the Regent.

Soo, send me your best selfie!

Thanks. TTYL!

[ Yes, you WILL hear a kissie sound at the end of this post. ]

Comments

[affal]

( in the metaphorical, metaphysical space that exists between all of them, makoto has... just been observing these two basically give one another a judgmental silent treatment that would make even the haughtiest toddler jealous.

..............

anyways, after a moment, he interjects: )

It's an image of yourself, Eustace.

[oomfies]

[ Uh.. RUDE? But eventually someone had to give in.. Better that it be a third party then either one of them. ]

He still won't get it.

[ She speaks like she knows she's right. And then she adds, ]

Ask him if he's ever owned a phone.

[affal]

He doesn't need to have ever owned a phone to know what an image of himself is?

What, do you need him to do the pose and everything?

[lockedon]

What pose?

[ hello????? ]

[oomfies]

..No, but I'm saying he definitely doesn't know if he doesn't know what a phone is.

[lockedon]

[ Thank you, Makoto, for being NORMAL and REASONABLE and using your words like an adult, despite somehow being the only not-adult between the three of them. It's fine, probably. ]

And that's all there is to it?

[ Ignoring the fact that he has no idea how to take one of these 'selfies' but he can deal with that problem later. ]

[affal]

I don't see any reason why it shouldn't be.

( just think really hard about how you view yourself, eustace?? or how you appear in a mirror?? it's not too hard, buddy )

[lockedon]

[ So he'll look into the mirror and project an image of a gun, got it. ]

Is there a purpose to these [ ugh ] 'selfies' other than for promotional purposes?

[oomfies]

Yes? Of course there is.

[ She is woefully vague if only because she can feel that 'ugh' from miles on end, even in her nice little room. ]

I'm not doing photocards, though.

[lockedon]

[ He opens his (metaphorical mental) mouth to ask what the hell a photocard is, thinks better of it, and closes it again. ]

The Regent specifically asked you to do this?

[oomfies]

No? I said I was putting this together for them.

[ In other words: she's doing this of her own free will and definitely for brownie points. Because one thing she witnessed at their super awkward dinner was that, above all, the Regent loves cute girls. So even if she fucks this up she should still be fine! ]

[lockedon]

[ That explains a lot.

Enough, actually, that he doesn't even bother responding and, like Amos, opts to mark the rest of this entire nonsensical conversation as ✓ read.

Have fun, Lottie. 👋 ]

[oomfies]

[ Frankly, she hopes you get fleas and a rash somewhere uncomfortable. Her brain broadcasts this fairly loudly, so much she hopes that his neighbors and dumb little knives hear it!

She'll remember this when your cat boy fur gets matted! 👋 ]